Saturday, 30 July 2011


The Incredible Hulk.

By Tim David Harvey.

Blake Griffin had a 'Monster' 2010/2011. Just like fellow Midwest native Kanye West, but no one man should have all that power.

"I shoot the lights out" Bon Iver- Kanye West: Monster

Well, get used to it, Blake does, "trippin' off the power" and making both of Hollywood's teams start studded. It's 'light's out' at STAPLES even when they take off the Laker floor as well. Clipper nation is finally a destination fans want to flock to and future free agents will want to emigrate too. He just makes the game The ball looks like a grapefruit in his hands, just wait for the punch. The defenders look like children, waiting to be schooled. Sound familiar? Blake may just be the most imposing, exciting big man in Los Angeles, (or the league for that matter) ever since Shaq...and he's not a Laker. Sure the Lake Show are glad to have Bynum back on the block but you know they'd love to have Blake deep down in the paint.

"As you run through my jungle all you hear is rumbles" Rick Ross - Kanye West: Monster

Night after night Griffin re-designs the paint with his dunks. He cuts down frontcourt trees like a lumberjack. In fact as beautiful as Chick Hearn's coined phrase is, Blake makes this art-form look so powerful yet beautiful that it should be renamed in his honor. His damaging dunks are like dynamite, SLAM knows this. Sure there's still no one quite like the Magic's Dwight but just look back at what Blake had in his bag of tricks for this years Slam Dunk contest in front of his home crowd at STAPLES. From stopping automobiles in their path, having the belief to fly and channeling Vince Carter all whilst putting an end to Howard's big man, Goliath dunk memories and David Nate Robinson's reign. Every game Blake punishes players with his post up, poster producing, power plays. From Tim Duncan to Timofey Mozgov and Amar'e Stoudemire to Tiago Splitter everybody can get it, with crotch rocked humiliation. In fact the leagues best San Antonio and the most-improved New York have been punished the most, (still everybody has) with countless STAT stuffing, splitting dunks.

Now how about that dunk, that's making the rounds on the youtube top 10's, a regular feature for Blake. You know the one were talking about. The opposition really doesn't and didn't matter however as Blake saw red, sprinting and running the floor like a bull (no it wasn't Chicago). He spun, floated like a butterfly, then dropped the hammer on a dunk that stung like a bee. Muhammad likes to rhyme, and Blake's game is like poetry, he's so agile, whereas all who try and break him down are merely fragile. Side-stepping back down court like Ali, that was no rookie confidence. He believes he's the greatest. It almost looked like this rabid talent was foaming at the mouth, but that was just his gum-shield. He's not the one that needs protection. Timeout. Yet another countless, timeless Blake dunk as this Griffin furthers his young legend. Another frozen moment in the time of NBA history. Where amazing, aerial, acrobatics happen.

"Everybody know I’m a m*********** monster" Kanye West: Monster

Griffin's really is a creature on another level. There's humans, role-player, superstars then monsters like Griffin. He averages as many dunks a game as James Bond averages women a film, but this agent is no secret. More Blake 7 then 007, Griffin is out this world. So advanced like science fiction, but this is fact and the basketball geeks just love it. Like another Griffin, first name Eddie (R.I.P. We miss you) before him, Blake is a young, raw but ready, talented, tall man that the league sorely needs. Like 'Blake Bad', Griffin's got a 'Crazy Heart' and a crazy game to match, with NBA, Oscar worthy performances night after night. Undeniable like Blake Lively, Griffin runs 'The Town' right now, sorry Kobe.

"Cause you will never get on top off this" Kanye West: Monster

Who can guard this guy? Literally, it's nobody. Sorry Dwight, maybe joining the Los Angeles Lakers is the only way you can get close to him. Sorry Garnett, you aint 'Da Kid' no more. Those images you see of Blake dunking around five guys aren't pictures. All the defenders can do is stand-around and look gormless in freeze-frame. Even the leagues best just look like the rest. From action replays, to poster and lap-top wallpapers worldwide, their humiliation is broadcast, but nobodies looking at them, their looking at B. Can't you see?

"Sasquatch, Godzilla, King Kong/Lochness, Goblin, Ghoul, a zombie with no conscience" Jay-Z- Kanye West: Monster

Shaquille O'Neal, Kevin Garnett, Dwight Howard, Darryl Dawkins, Vince Carter, Shawn Kemp with a conscience, Blake is as bad as them all and you know I mean as in good. A hybrid of them all, this monster talent surely was crafted in a laboratory, that's why he was gone for 12 months in his real Rookie year. Sure he was a 'Naismith College Player of the Year', 'Oscar Robertson Trophy' and the 'John Wooden Award' winning stud in college, but these are the big leagues and he's no schoolboy. No one with all this power usually has the grace Blake has. His game is eloquent, he can switch it up from monster Shaq-like power to the athletic beauty of a guard. Just check out his pirouette's before he comes out of nowhere and beats everybody like the 'Black Swan'. Now that's a good look. From alley-oops that are going to turn Eric Bledsoe into a star and Eric Gordon into the next Jason Kidd, to off-balance impossible dunks like the one against Portland, Griffin is making everything look so easy. The only hard thing is to try and couple all his plays into weekly 'Top-Ten's'. He needs a separate category for himself and as for the rest of the league, forget about it.

"All I see is these fake f**** with no fangs/Tryna draw blood with my ice cold veins/I smell a massacre/Seems to be the only way to back you b******* up" Jay-Z- Kanye West: Monster

Still, of course the critics have something to say, 'he's this', 'he's not that', but he really is. Blake is more than dunks, and critics even called Shaq one dimensional but that didn't stop him from cutting a few championship shapes. Besides Charles Barkley was right "just wait 'till his game comes together". He's only young and you best believe this mound of rebound legend knows the big man's game more than anybody. He's more then qualified to speak on Griffin's graduating game. Everyone in the league wants a 20 and 10 big man, well Blake is 22.5 and 12.1 and he isn't even a centre. The Clips still have Chris Kaman and Gordon for that playoff matter. Blake is the centre of attention however and the Clippers may have missed the playoffs (just wait a little longer) but they sure stunned their neighbours and former champion Lakers, Fisher buzzer-beater or not, and this writers a Laker lover. With career numbers like 47 points and 14 rebounds, how is this point making, rebound grabbing man not a monster? Critics can't deny him. They should give him the love like they've finally given Minnesota's Kevin because Blake could go for 30-30 one day two. Sure he isn't much of a post-game, quotable, im-presser, but this is a league where people games do the talking. So everyone else can shut up!

"So let me get this straight wait I’m the rookie" Nicki Minaj- Kanye West: Monster

He's the 'Rookie Of the Year', without a doubt. he shadows the opposition. Sure, sure he should be a sophomore, but his only slump came with the injury last year. Now is his time and he's making up for lost pine. No more suit and tie or bench days for Blake. No wonder he's not chilling, showing he can play with the smartest in the league and bench press even the most imposing, dominant, veteran big men. He's the first rook since Allen Iverson to have two 40+ games and you know what that guy did the league. There's more to come as well as Blake looks to change the game and answer the call. Who needs a new version of 'NBA Jam', when you've got the real thing on demand? Blake's on fire and beyond the excitement, hoopla and dunks his talent burns deep. Laker die-hard couldn't even fan his flames, Griffin is making it legitimate for Los Angeles to have two franchises and as for the locked out league, he's saving it. Now that's a superhero we can all marvel at. A hulking talent that's turning the Clippers green with profit. Now only a creature on a whole other, out of this world level could do that.

"Aaahhhh, I’m a m*********** monster!" Nicki Minaj-- Kanye West: Monster

No comments:

Post a Comment